From Grief to Resurrection: My Journey with Jesus

In 1992, I was with someone I hoped to spend my whole life with. I loved this person more than I should have. For this blog we will call him Darrell. We had been together for 8 years and I thought he should know by now if I’m the one for him. I thought he was the one for me. But he wasn’t choosing me. I broke up with him in hopes of helping him move into that, “I really do love you” place. It didn’t work and when I tried to make up, he wouldn’t get back together. After a couple of months, he did admit that he missed me as a friend, and we decided to be friendly but not be a couple.

Right after that, he passed away. I wasn’t walking with the Lord Jesus at the time but felt that He had His hand on this situation. The pain of the loss was great and now the loss was final. If this relationship had not ended and if I had gotten what I wanted, this would have turned out much worse. I felt crushed.

I went through the grieving process like everyone else would. I did miss talking to Darrell every day. I would still imagine talking to him, especially while I was driving alone. One day I was driving and talking to him about stuff. Suddenly I heard a still small voice ask me, “Why do you talk to the dead, but you don’t talk to Me?”. I thought, Wow! Is that an option? Should I do that? I didn’t know a person could just talk to the Holy Spirit like that. I was very excited at the possibility of having such a friendship with the Holy Spirit. From that time forward till this day, Holy Spirit has been my friend that goes with me everywhere.

This teaching from my Sunday school study book* really summed it up well and I am paraphrasing:

Embracing Jesus means welcoming the exchange of His life for ours. He took on our flawed existence, paid for our missteps on the cross, and extended His flawless life to us. This allows us to stand confidently before God as righteous individuals. Jesus promised, “I’ll take your setbacks and disappointments, and you can claim My triumph as yours! My success is yours, and all you need to do is surrender your chaos (your entire being) to Me!”

One day, I was talking to the Holy Spirit about the trouble I had dating because no one could compete with Darrell. I said, “I would just like to have someone who would love me enough to be willing to die for me. He wouldn’t really have to die. I would never ask him to die, but just for him to be willing.” The Holy Spirit responded, “There is someone who does love you enough to die for you. Not just be willing to die for you, but to actually end His life for you. His name is Jesus!” I was thinking along the lines of an actual person, but the Holy Spirit had what I was asking for, so I accepted it. I gave my empty life up so I could fill it with Jesus.

I could feel my heart smiling. I didn’t feel alone, invisible, or insignificant anymore. I had to let my heart accept and embrace that it was okay to stop being lonely all the time, it’s okay to stop being sad all the time, and it’s okay to stop believing I was a loser. It was/is very nice to finally have a heart that smiles. It is simply a nice feeling. Embracing “the living” is far more fun than focusing on the dead.

I challenge you to take the amount of time you would spend talking to someone you wanted to get to know and spend that time talking to Jesus. Let your heart get quiet and your mind focus on the person who loves you so much that He not only was willing to die for you but did die for you. Sit quietly and tell Him how you want to have a committed relationship with Him. That you want to have eyes that see Him (after all, He is all around you) and ears that hear Him (after all, He has plenty to say through The Holy Bible, music, people, and things to express His love for you).

He loves you to include Him instead of always waiting for Him to include you. After all, He has already included you. I promise you that He loves to be included in the small stuff, good or bad. Trade your dead past for a future with a living God.

Let’s pray:

Father God, in the name of Jesus, thank you for this day. Thank you for trading the dead parts of our lives for your living power. Thank you for taking our past and giving us a future with hope. Please make our eyes see and our ears to hear all that you have for us. Make us sensitive to you so that we don’t miss a single opportunity to experience you in any way. In Jesus' name………___________!

Scripture readings to help you go deeper into what God offers each of us.

If you are and struggle with being single:

1 Corinthians 7:7, 1 Corinthians 7:8, Psalm 37:4, Isaiah 55:8-9, Matthew 19:12 

If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one:

Jeremiah 29:11, 33:3 2 Corinthians 3:6, 5:7 Luke24:5, Roman 6:4, Deuteronomy 31, Matt 5:45, John 15, James 2:23, 4

* Taken from Bible Studies for Life book that The Tabernacle Church Sarasota shares for Sunday school classes. Edition Spring 2022, Session 6, question 4 pages 79 & 80